Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Some Days... My Struggle With PCOS

Some days are harder than others. Some days I take this all in stride, some days I don't. Some days I want to strangle people, some days I practically do. Some days I'm really mean to my husband, some days I ignore him completely. Some days I am so lost in my own thoughts, I forget to respond when people talk to me. 

There are no words to explain how this fight feels every day. Every day for the last 18 months I have had to make a conscious decision to get out of bed and start the day. I have to make the decision of how this day is going to unfold. Some days I just don't have it in me to move. 

Wanting a child is something that I have dreamed about since my second date with Nathan. He told me that night that our children would grow to be Republicans and not Democrats. It was the moment I knew that we were going to have so much fun raising children. Before I met Nathan, having children was not on my radar at all. After meeting Nathan, it's all I've dreamed of. 

Some days I start crying for no reason at all. Some days I get these flashes of anger that make me so mad I almost can't contain it. Some days I have nothing in me by the end of the day that I just pass out. Some days all I can do is lie awake and run different scenarios through my head. Some days I read an entire book to escape my own reality. 

Every day is a 'some day'. Some are just better than others. 

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