There are no words to explain how this fight feels every day. Every day for the last 18 months I have had to make a conscious decision to get out of bed and start the day. I have to make the decision of how this day is going to unfold. Some days I just don't have it in me to move.
Wanting a child is something that I have dreamed about since my second date with Nathan. He told me that night that our children would grow to be Republicans and not Democrats. It was the moment I knew that we were going to have so much fun raising children. Before I met Nathan, having children was not on my radar at all. After meeting Nathan, it's all I've dreamed of.
Some days I start crying for no reason at all. Some days I get these flashes of anger that make me so mad I almost can't contain it. Some days I have nothing in me by the end of the day that I just pass out. Some days all I can do is lie awake and run different scenarios through my head. Some days I read an entire book to escape my own reality.
Every day is a 'some day'. Some are just better than others.