Thursday, February 3, 2011


I would like to think that I am not a very jealous person. Actually I would like to say that I'm not a jealous person at all. Of course when really great things happen to people there is that little bit of everyone that says "ahh I'm jealous", but mine is usually out of pure happiness for that other person. I really try and live my life loving every minute of it, because its mine, and its something no one else can have. That in itself is enough reason to live my life for me!

I do understand that there are alot of jealous people out there, and I honestly feel bad for them. It must be so terrible to live life always wishing you had something else, or you were in a different situation. You are shorting the people in your life, but most of all you are shorting yourself out of a great life, yours!

The thing with this is that, lately I have become a jealous person. I see something or hear something about certain people or situations and it just makes me so mad inside. I ask myself "why?" quite a bit. First and foremost, WHY AM I GETTING JEALOUS?? I never have before, EVER! I even had a boyfriend that prided himself on hitting on anything that was near him, even if i was right in front of him, and I never ever ever got jealous. Some might say its because I didn't care as much about him. Which might be true. But this feeling sucks.  I have also been asking myself, why would you do that? Why do other people continue to live their lives day end and day out if they are so unhappy. Its your life you can change it to be whatever you want it to be. 

This is probably not making a lot of sense, because it doenst to me. All I know is that I have this feeling that I get, I hate how I get it, and I hate that it even exists. I am not a jealous person, AT ALL. I want to go back to not having these feelings. But until then, I will suck it up and realize that I care alot about the people in my life in the moment that I am in and maybe that is why I am finally feeling this awful feeling. 

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