Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Independent Women

It is so hard for me to hear women who cant make decisions without their husbands or their significant others. Women who don't have their own checking accounts, or credit cards. Women who are told to hang up the phone, so they do. It just annoys me. Maybe I am too far on the other side of the spectrum, but I will never let a man control my life.

I do want to get married, but I don't want to marry a dictator, I want to marry a partner. I want to have just as much say in the decisions that we make as he does. I used to want to make more money then him, and wear the pants in the relationship, but I'm over that. I would love to be taken care of, but I also want to take care of him.

We as women can not break the "glass ceiling" when there are still all of those women out there that let their spouses treat them like a pet, not like their partner.

As most people know, I grew up in a single parent house-hold, so my Mom was my Mom and my Dad. She never had to ask anyone questions, she just always did what she needed to do. She got a power tool set for Christmas one year, and she fixed things. She was always the one who was pulling weeds and doing the landscaping and just survived on her own. I guess that is why I am who I am today, and I am so happy that I got to experience that way of life.

On the other hand, I was also raised by my Grandparents who lived right next door to me. I would not say that my Grandpa is a dictator in anyway, but he is defiantly the Patriarch of the family. My Grandma was always a stay at home Mom/Grandma and didn't really have her own money. She doesn't know how to pump her own gas, and she couldn't pay a bill if her life depended on it. I had to explain to her one day at the check out that if you swipe your credit card, you dont have to give them cash as well.  I look at her and I think of all the things that she doesn't know how to do because my Grandfather always did those things for her.  And then I look at him, a man who 5 years ago would have had no idea how to do a load of laundry or make the family favorite of beef and noodles, and now since my Grandma has been so sick he has learned how to do all of that.

My Grandpa never ruled my Grandma with an iron fist, and if she wanted to do something, she was going to do it. She just always had to ask him for money first. I used to laugh at this when I was younger and then when I got older I lost a lot of respect for my Grandma for a while because of this.  Now I think about how much they have compromised and almost ruled each other over the years that has made their realtionship work.

This entry went a lot of different directions, but pretty much my whole point is that; I want a partner in life, not a dictator, and I think that all women should strive for this, not just settle for what they have.

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