Driving

You know, my whole driving life I have never been good at it. I have tried to say that I just speed bu that doesn't mean that I am a bad driver. Well, I am finally coming to the conclusion and finally admitting to myself that I am a terrible driver.  I chalk it up to every thing else in my life that I'm not good at, I just don't have time! HAHA

But seriously, I constantly see accidents everywhere because people do not pay attention and that is just my case. I dont pay attention at all. I am usually messing around with my phone, or digging through my purse or staring at people. Its such a bad habit and even though I am so conscience of it, I don't do anything about it.

Well. from now on I am going to start making a conscience effort to pay more attention because I understand that a car is a dangerous piece of equipment and I need to be more responsible.

So for all my haters my whole life....I am finally admitting that I am a BAD driver!! Terrible to be exact!

Things I want to do

So, there are alot of things that I have wanted to do for a while that I just havent done. Partly because of money and partly because I didnt really have anybody who wanted to do it with me.

For instance I love going on road trips. I love staying in hotels and I love just experiencing fun, new things. I can be a homebody at times, but I really just love to get out and do something.  Now that I have a job that gives me amble PTO to take time off work, I am making sure that this year, and from here on out I do the things that I want to do no matter if I end up doing them alone or not!

For starters, I have always wanted to go to Galena, IL. I have heard that it is a beautiful town and I have always just wanted to have a romantic weekend there. So I paid for one. Now we just have to have a weekend to go!

I have also been wanting to go to Chicago forever. I love the city, I love the atmospher, and I love getting away. So for Nathans birthday in July we will be going to Chicago and going to a White Sox/Cubs game! It will be soo much fun!

I really want to go to a nice lake somewhere this summer as well and stay in a cabin. We used to do stuff like that when I was a kid all of the time and I miss it. I like the outdoors when I want to be out there. (haha) I love floating on a tube in the lake and just kicking back and relaxing. A nice fire at night to roast some marshmellows is always fun too!

I also would like to take a trip to the Kansas City area soon! I too love that city and would prefer to go in the summer so we could go to Worlds of Fun/Oceans of Fun. But we will see! I like going to Royals games too down there!!

Well, there is a bit of a list of things that I would like to start doing. The way I look at is is I'm young, there is no better time then now to do all of this stuff, so why not do it??

Being Proactive

So the company that I work for, The CBE Group, paid for our entire company to go through a program by Franklin Covey called 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. There are 7 Habits that seem like common sense, but they aren't easy. The first one is "Being Proactive".  Lately I have struggled with this a lot because what exactly is being proactive. In each situation it can mean a different thing. We just had a Covey Booster last week that I went through about Being Proactive, and the instructor said that people who sit back and do nothing can be just as ineffective as people who always jump up to do something. I would say that I am a reactive person, and it some sense I am a proactive-reactive person in my own mind, but when the situation is all said and done, I was really just a reactive person and didn't make the situation any better at all.

There is a part that they tell you to give yourself a "wedgie" before you react so that you can sit and think before you say something that you will later regret. I have started to do this a lot with my sister and my mom. I often times just end the call to give myself to give me a wedgie so I dont say anything that we all know I WILL regret later. The bad part about this, is that I am not being proactive about the situation and I am just giving myself more time to come up with something even more mean to come back the next time I talk to them. Yes, this is terrible and its not helping anything at all.

So, I really took to heart what I've learned and been told thus far, and I have realized that this "proactive-reactive" attitudue that I think I have is really just a reactive attitude and I need to realize what I need to do to become a more proactive person.

So...if you know me and my quick mouth...here goes nothing!!

Ruining surprises!!!!

Ok, so never before in my life have I been good at keeping surprises. I just have a big mouth and I like to tell everything that I know. If you are part of my life, you just have come to realize this, or you dont tell me anything. Either works for me!

Welllll, the hard part about this is now having a boyfriend and getting him things. His birthday isnt even until July and he already knows what he is getting. Also, I told him this weekend what I was getting him for Valentine's day and he gave me my present!!

I keep saying that I want to be completely surprised when I get proposed to...but lets be real, we all know that I want to know every little detail!

I hope I cant talk him into telling me when it comes time! I'm pretty persuasive...I mean I am a debt collector!!

WWWWHHHHYYYYYY????

I would like to think that I am not a very jealous person. Actually I would like to say that I'm not a jealous person at all. Of course when really great things happen to people there is that little bit of everyone that says "ahh I'm jealous", but mine is usually out of pure happiness for that other person. I really try and live my life loving every minute of it, because its mine, and its something no one else can have. That in itself is enough reason to live my life for me!

I do understand that there are alot of jealous people out there, and I honestly feel bad for them. It must be so terrible to live life always wishing you had something else, or you were in a different situation. You are shorting the people in your life, but most of all you are shorting yourself out of a great life, yours!

The thing with this is that, lately I have become a jealous person. I see something or hear something about certain people or situations and it just makes me so mad inside. I ask myself "why?" quite a bit. First and foremost, WHY AM I GETTING JEALOUS?? I never have before, EVER! I even had a boyfriend that prided himself on hitting on anything that was near him, even if i was right in front of him, and I never ever ever got jealous. Some might say its because I didn't care as much about him. Which might be true. But this feeling sucks.  I have also been asking myself, why would you do that? Why do other people continue to live their lives day end and day out if they are so unhappy. Its your life you can change it to be whatever you want it to be. 

This is probably not making a lot of sense, because it doenst to me. All I know is that I have this feeling that I get, I hate how I get it, and I hate that it even exists. I am not a jealous person, AT ALL. I want to go back to not having these feelings. But until then, I will suck it up and realize that I care alot about the people in my life in the moment that I am in and maybe that is why I am finally feeling this awful feeling.