Sunday, May 10, 2015

Dear 'Childless on Mother's Day' My Struggle with PCOS

An open letter to all the women childless on Mothers Day. 

Dear Friend, 

Today sucks. I know it does. It is so easy to sit in our little pity bubble and feel so sorry for ourselves. We open up Facebook and everyone is raving about loving their Mom's so much, how lucky they are to be a Mom, and husbands who never post, are making their yearly post. 

We go to the store and we can barely breathe. Have we never realized before how many balloons there are, or flower arrangements? Do people actually buy these cookie cakes for their mom's or is it all there to taunt us? 

We go out to eat and we know everyone is looking at us. 'Why doesn't she have her kids on Mother's Day?' 'Is she pregnant?' We have now convinced ourselves that everyone and everything on Mother's Day is there to taunt us. To remind us, we are not Mothers. 

I am here to tell you, it's all in your head. We have to get out of our heads to make it through this day. There are Mothers out there that need us. There are Mothers out there that love us.

For the past 2 years, I haven't done anything for Mother's Day. I didn't buy cards, I didn't order flowers, I didn't even acknowledge it. My husband ordered the flowers, my husband bought the cards, my husband handled business on Mother's Day, so I didn't have to. 

I have an amazing Mom, my sister is a fantastic mother. My sister in law is second to none, and my mother in law is right up there as well! Nathan has amazing grandma's, we both have fantastic Aunts. But I don't care. I am the one who is childless on Mother's Day. I am the one in pain, I am the one grieving. 

I am sure that many of you feel this same way. You spend Mother's Day sitting in your pity ball, waving a flag to God saying WHY NOT ME? WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN?? I've been there. I am there. 

But this Mother's Day, let's be different. Lets not stay buried in my pity ball. (My pity ball is laying in bed with the covers pulled over my head, reading books). Lets  help celebrate so many wonderful women in our lives. Lets spread love, not hate. Lets not let our infertility define us. 

We will be childless on Mother's Day, but we will survive. 

Happy Mother's Day

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