Nannie

You hear me talk abou her a lot, but for new readers, Nannie is my Grandma. She is not in that good of health and to be honest for the last 3-4 years they have been telling us that she is only goin to be with us for six to nine more months. she keeps defeating their odds and she is still here with us today. The thing is, she's not getting any better she is getting worse. The whole point of this is that my wedding is still about 8 months away. It breaks my heart that my Grandla won't be at my weddin and that I will be walking myself down the aisle. I will absolutely break my heart if my Grandma isn't there. My grandparents have been so instrumental in my life. There were never like grandparents they at like parents to me. The way I have not been allowing myself to get heartbroken is to just assume and convince myself that my Grandma won't be there so then I won't get my hopes up. The thing about this is that my grandma wants to go shopping for something to wear and she wants to make all of these arrangements on when she is going to get up to Cedar Falls and blah blah blah. My mom kind of reamed my ass today because I keep blowing my Grandma off. I explained to her my reasoning and my point of view. She expressed to me her point of view. She thinks that I should be doing all of these things with my Grandma. She thinks that if the time does come and my Grandma isn't there I can look back at all of these memories that I made with my Grandma before my wedding. Tht it will be like she got to experience in it all.
Yeah, I dont know how I feel about her point of view. There must be a happy medium somewhere and I will just have to find that.