Haha, Ohhh my Nathan! His sense of decor is quite different than mine but somehow we make it work. So if this thing must hang in our basement to make him happy, who am I to complain??
Monday, June 11, 2012
Giving in
I lay here in our basement, the only place that isn't 100 degrees and I think about the fight that Nathan and I got into when i told him this could no longer go in the bedroom when we moved in together.
Haha, Ohhh my Nathan! His sense of decor is quite different than mine but somehow we make it work. So if this thing must hang in our basement to make him happy, who am I to complain??
Haha, Ohhh my Nathan! His sense of decor is quite different than mine but somehow we make it work. So if this thing must hang in our basement to make him happy, who am I to complain??
Monday, May 28, 2012
Not apologizing...
There are things in my life that I will own up to. I know that sometimes I do things that I need to apologize for but I know that there are also things about my life that I won't apologize for. Here is the short list;
1. My love for Nathan and our happiness. This is something that I abaolutely will not apologize for.
Nathan and I understand how lucky we are to have found each other and be as happy as we are. There was a time in my life when the only man that meant anything was my Grandpa. This was also a time where I sai I would never get married and I never wanted a family. My Grandpa always told me the one thing he wanted me to experience was the love him and my Grandma shares and the joy that children an grandchild brought your life. At a time in my life when the most important man in my life was dying, my heart opened up to a new man. A man who loves me so deeply and so unconditionally. I never knew this kind of love existed outside of my Grandparents marriage. So, I will not apologize for loving Nathan and I will not stop sharing my love for him either.
2. My success. I had worked extremely hard throughout my life to always be on top. I worked extremely hard during school and I have always been good at my jobs. I work hard to produce great results. Nathan also works extremely hard and his drive for success makes me want to succeed rift along with him. Our hard work has opened some great doors for us and I will not apologize for that. We have not been handed things. We make sacrifices and miss out on things and work hard for everything that we have. Everything we have we deserve, so apologizing is not necessary!
3. My openness. I have always been an open book. I dot have anything in my life to hide so why not express myself. Yes, I probably do too many status updates and tweet entirely wayy too much, but once again I won't apologize for this. Growing up I always had to act one way in public. I always ha to put a smile on my face even though life was falling apart begin closed doors. I always pretended like I had everything under control even though I was a wreck. I always had to hide things. Now that I have my own life an I'm proud of the life I live and have made for myself I see no need to hide things.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Laying awake...
I lay here in bed trying to sleep. I think about things that I said today that I could have said different. I think about how much I miss Nathan. How over the past few months, since we both got our promotions we became 2nd to each other. Our new jobs were first. There was always something more important. Some TV show I needed to watch instead of lay in bed with him, some post I needed to read on facebook. I think about how I would beg him to come to lunch with me, but he was always busy. I think about how we get a 2nd chance. We got time to realize that all those little things, all those little moments are what truly matter.
I think about all of these things because I lay awake and I think about my Grandpa. I think about how he is missing out on all of this. How for so long he was there to help me through my heart ache. He was there to pick up the pieces as they were falling apart and he was there to glue me back together when I completely crumbled. He got to see all of those moments. He got to experience all of those moments, but he doenst get to experience these. He doens't get to see me happier then I have ever been. He doenst get to hang out with Nathan and learn to love him the way I do. Nathan never got to see his Maytag collection or all of his artifacts. Nathan didn't get to hear the stories or listen to him laugh from his belly.
I cry because I am so jealous of my sister. My Grandpa got to walk my sister down the aisle. He got to see her in her wedding dress. He got to put on the tux and tell her how beautiful she looked. He got to give her away and kiss her and tell her that he would always be her number one guy. I know that my Grandpa will be there with me. I know that I will feel him in my heart. But I am still very jealous that it isn't the same as what my sister got.
So I lay here awake...thinking of what was and what will be. I know that Nathan was brought into my life as I was losing the most important man in my life. At one point in my life, I could never imagine my life without my Grandpa. And then I met Nathan. At the same time that I was having to realize that I was going to lose my Grandpa and I was going to have to live life without him, there was Nathan. I learned a new kind of love. A love that to me was so raw. This man loved me for me. Not because I was his grandchild, but because he loved ME. I cant compare it to anything just like I cant compare the love I had for my Grandpa to anything I have ever experienced. So instead of being jealous and thinking about was was....I should focus on what IS and what WILL BE.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Freezing Cooking in a Frenzy
I just realized this never posted:
Well, here you all go! I have fielded many questions about our over the weekend adventure of Freezer Cooking. I would like to first and foremost say that this would not have been possible without Nathan. Whew! The patience that man has is insane. I, on the other hand, have no patience at all. What is that saying my mother use to always tell me "patience is a virtue". I think I always responded, "not my virtue". Wow, was I ever right. A spatula was tossed, a glass bowl was shattered, and cooking sheets were knocked on the floor. Oh, did I mention sometimes I have a temper?? :)
So, for this freezer cooking, I can't take all the credit. I got most of the ideas off of pinterest! Actually, I got all of the ideas off of pinterest! I would have never done it without finding all of the ideas and recipes off of pinterest.
First, we planned out all of the recipes. I knew that this was going to be a big adventure, and I didn't want to have to go back to the grocery store upteen million times. (Nathan went back twice). So, I wrote out all of the recipes, how much we needed of each thing and then I wrote out a shopping list by aisle at Hy-Vee. I also wanted to make sure that we had enough baggies, seran wrap, and foil. Once we got to the store, Nathan questioned the idea of putting everything in a baggie. They were having a sale on containers, so we bought some of them and boy am I ever happy we did. (Did I ever mention I am marrying a genius??)
So, we got home and carried in all of the groceries. I organized them by what went with what. All the ingredients for each recipe stayed with that recipe so that things wouldn't get all jumpled together. So, up into now, my organization has been great, right? Here is where I messed up and sent the entire day spiraling down, until my Super hero swooped in and saved the day.
We started with the tater tot casserole. We got the hamburger browned and everything mixed up in bowls. I had the pan lined with seran wrap (mistake one--use foil instead). I put in all the ingredients and then placed it in the freezer. Everything that I read said to "flash freeze" for 90 minutes. My mother has since told me that because I placed so much in the freezer at once, and since they were all hot items, it would take much longer then 90 minutes for these things to freeze. So, my advice, freeze for a good 3-4 hours. The idea is that you can slice the items into single serving, place in a baggie and on you go. Ours did not turn out like that at all, but we made it work, and it still looks just as yummy! Hey, a casserole is just a bunch of shit all thrown in a pan together anyways isnt it??
We did the same thing with the lasagna, (forgot spaghetti sauce. Nathan's first trip to the store). We left it in the freezer for much longer and it was frozen pretty solid it sliced much nicer. Also I lined the pans with foil instead of seran wrap.
Nathan enjoys stir fry (I'm not a fan). Usually he frys everything up in the pan and then he has like a week's worth of meals. We end up throwing some away. Which always annoys me, but I understand not wanting to eat the same thing every day, all day! So, we figured if he put things in single serving baggies, we wouldn't waste as much. He sliced up all of his pepper and onions and put it in with the raw meat. Then we threw them in the freezer and that was done.
Another thing that Nathan likes to eat are chicken enchiladas. We make these in the crock pot. So Nathan sliced up the peppers and onions and threw in the frozen chicken breasts. We use 1 hot jar of salsa and 1 mild jar of salsa. That just sat in the crock pot all day. It usually takes 4-6 hours. We put it into single serving containers. Nathan usually eats 3-4 of the enchiladas at a time, so that was the serving size we used.
We also made two lasagnas. We put foil in the bottom of the pan, and then froze the whole thing. We made 2 of them, and then also made one that we cut up into 6 single servings and froze them.
I really enjoy eating Jimmy Dean Breakfast Bowls. It is like sausage, potatoes, cheese and scrambled eggs. I thought instead of spending the 2.99 we do on these, or however much they usually cost, I could just make my own. So we scrambled up the egg and sausage. For the potatoes, I took red potatoes and cubed them. I sprinkled them with olive oil, put them on foil and baked them at 350 for 20 minutes! They were perfect. I just threw even amounts of each in containers and those were done.
We also wanted to make breakfast burritos to grab and go in the morning. We used ham, sausage, bacon, potatoes, scrambled eggs, and cheese. This part SUCKED! I had no idea how hard it was to roll a burrito, put it was totally worth it. These were amazing!
Overall, everything turned out okay and it will make our lives so much easier. I am very thankful that we did it, and I am also very thankful that I have a guy like Nathan who stays calm while I am throwing spatulas across the kitchen and breaking bowls on the kitchen floor! :)
Well, here you all go! I have fielded many questions about our over the weekend adventure of Freezer Cooking. I would like to first and foremost say that this would not have been possible without Nathan. Whew! The patience that man has is insane. I, on the other hand, have no patience at all. What is that saying my mother use to always tell me "patience is a virtue". I think I always responded, "not my virtue". Wow, was I ever right. A spatula was tossed, a glass bowl was shattered, and cooking sheets were knocked on the floor. Oh, did I mention sometimes I have a temper?? :)
So, for this freezer cooking, I can't take all the credit. I got most of the ideas off of pinterest! Actually, I got all of the ideas off of pinterest! I would have never done it without finding all of the ideas and recipes off of pinterest.
First, we planned out all of the recipes. I knew that this was going to be a big adventure, and I didn't want to have to go back to the grocery store upteen million times. (Nathan went back twice). So, I wrote out all of the recipes, how much we needed of each thing and then I wrote out a shopping list by aisle at Hy-Vee. I also wanted to make sure that we had enough baggies, seran wrap, and foil. Once we got to the store, Nathan questioned the idea of putting everything in a baggie. They were having a sale on containers, so we bought some of them and boy am I ever happy we did. (Did I ever mention I am marrying a genius??)
So, we got home and carried in all of the groceries. I organized them by what went with what. All the ingredients for each recipe stayed with that recipe so that things wouldn't get all jumpled together. So, up into now, my organization has been great, right? Here is where I messed up and sent the entire day spiraling down, until my Super hero swooped in and saved the day.
We started with the tater tot casserole. We got the hamburger browned and everything mixed up in bowls. I had the pan lined with seran wrap (mistake one--use foil instead). I put in all the ingredients and then placed it in the freezer. Everything that I read said to "flash freeze" for 90 minutes. My mother has since told me that because I placed so much in the freezer at once, and since they were all hot items, it would take much longer then 90 minutes for these things to freeze. So, my advice, freeze for a good 3-4 hours. The idea is that you can slice the items into single serving, place in a baggie and on you go. Ours did not turn out like that at all, but we made it work, and it still looks just as yummy! Hey, a casserole is just a bunch of shit all thrown in a pan together anyways isnt it??
We did the same thing with the lasagna, (forgot spaghetti sauce. Nathan's first trip to the store). We left it in the freezer for much longer and it was frozen pretty solid it sliced much nicer. Also I lined the pans with foil instead of seran wrap.
Nathan enjoys stir fry (I'm not a fan). Usually he frys everything up in the pan and then he has like a week's worth of meals. We end up throwing some away. Which always annoys me, but I understand not wanting to eat the same thing every day, all day! So, we figured if he put things in single serving baggies, we wouldn't waste as much. He sliced up all of his pepper and onions and put it in with the raw meat. Then we threw them in the freezer and that was done.
Another thing that Nathan likes to eat are chicken enchiladas. We make these in the crock pot. So Nathan sliced up the peppers and onions and threw in the frozen chicken breasts. We use 1 hot jar of salsa and 1 mild jar of salsa. That just sat in the crock pot all day. It usually takes 4-6 hours. We put it into single serving containers. Nathan usually eats 3-4 of the enchiladas at a time, so that was the serving size we used.
We also made two lasagnas. We put foil in the bottom of the pan, and then froze the whole thing. We made 2 of them, and then also made one that we cut up into 6 single servings and froze them.
I really enjoy eating Jimmy Dean Breakfast Bowls. It is like sausage, potatoes, cheese and scrambled eggs. I thought instead of spending the 2.99 we do on these, or however much they usually cost, I could just make my own. So we scrambled up the egg and sausage. For the potatoes, I took red potatoes and cubed them. I sprinkled them with olive oil, put them on foil and baked them at 350 for 20 minutes! They were perfect. I just threw even amounts of each in containers and those were done.
We also wanted to make breakfast burritos to grab and go in the morning. We used ham, sausage, bacon, potatoes, scrambled eggs, and cheese. This part SUCKED! I had no idea how hard it was to roll a burrito, put it was totally worth it. These were amazing!
Overall, everything turned out okay and it will make our lives so much easier. I am very thankful that we did it, and I am also very thankful that I have a guy like Nathan who stays calm while I am throwing spatulas across the kitchen and breaking bowls on the kitchen floor! :)
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Family Traditions
Growing up, the one thing that we always had no matter what was family. Both my Mom and my Grandparents made sure of this. I was extremely blessed in the fact that I either lived with my Grandparents or lived right next door to my Grandparents my entire life.
Some of the time it was just me and my sister and my Grandparents, but most of the time it was the rest of my family as well. Every event was a huge deal for my family. It wasn't just holidays and birthdays, it was any random weekend when people would just show up. There was always plenty of food in fridge, snacks on the counter and pop in the basement.
Growing up we would play countless hour of wiffle ball in the backyard. If you missed the ball, it would hit the garage siding and my Grandpa would get so mad at us. But you knew as soon as he turned around, he was laughing as he walked away. We would ride the little motorcycle around the yard until there started to be tracks, cause then Grandpa got mad.
We would skate back and forth in the basement and create these little plays and then make the adults come down and watch us. Now when I am down in their basement, I look around and wonder how we ever had so many people down there putting on our "show" that we put on.
Birthday parties were always (and still are) the best. Growing up (and still today) I was the only one with a September birthday, so I never had to share my Sunday birthday party. Truth be told, I was always jealous of my cousin Afton because she got to share with my Grandpa. Now, the March/April birthday's are like half the family!! We all sit down in the living room and open our presents and cards. We have to pass the cards around for everyone to read. My Grandma loves to read every single card. She keeps every card that she has even been given also. My Grandpa always had his Maytag Camera that he got for I beleive 35 years of service. My Grandma would make him take pictures of everything. Then we go up to the table and we put the candles in. We sing happy birthday to everyone. No matter how many people there are, the candles get re lit and everyone gets their special birthday song. if you are 27, 2 candles get put on one side and 7 on the other. My Grandpa would always get so mad, he said we were going to burn down the house! Having all the memories swarm through my head, I always think about how riduclious some of these things sound. My Grandma has all of these little ways that she does things. They are non-negotiable, and to be honest, I wouldn't want them any other way.
Christmas is just as riduclious. Let me tell you what, if you want to see something that is reality TV worthy, you should come to my families house for Christmas. First off, the hours that would go into my Grandma shopping and wrapping each present for us, I cant even imagine. Then the perfect way that they would each be under the Christmas tree to make it all look like a puzzle. When Christmas morning game, my sister and I would have to sit on the bottom of our stairs until my Grandparents would come over, Then we could run out and see what Santa brought us (you see, I come from a family where Santa did not wrap the presents). Then once we opened our presents at our house, we would go over to my Grandparents. My cousins would be arriving at this time. We would all sit on this white couch that my Grandparents have in their family room. I always sat next to the tree, as I always hand out the presents. I would have to hand out one present to each person. Once they all got their present, I could start unwrapping mine, I would have to say who it was from. I then have to take off the ribbons and the bows and the name tags. Now, Ashley and Nick take these. (You see, my Grandma saves all of these and uses them year after year. Some name tags are ones that we wrote clear back when we were 5 or 6 years old). Yes, it is riduclious as it sounds. But it is our Family Christmas, and I love it.
This blog is getting a lot longer then I wanted it to. I guess my whole point of writing this is that I cant wait to start my own family traditions. The fun part is that we will get to take traditions from my family and traditions from Nathan's family and create our own. I think about cooking my family Thanksgiving dinner and having my kids get to eat "cherry shit" for Christmas breakfast. I love everything about joining our lives together, and creating traditions might be my favorite part!
Some of the time it was just me and my sister and my Grandparents, but most of the time it was the rest of my family as well. Every event was a huge deal for my family. It wasn't just holidays and birthdays, it was any random weekend when people would just show up. There was always plenty of food in fridge, snacks on the counter and pop in the basement.
Growing up we would play countless hour of wiffle ball in the backyard. If you missed the ball, it would hit the garage siding and my Grandpa would get so mad at us. But you knew as soon as he turned around, he was laughing as he walked away. We would ride the little motorcycle around the yard until there started to be tracks, cause then Grandpa got mad.
We would skate back and forth in the basement and create these little plays and then make the adults come down and watch us. Now when I am down in their basement, I look around and wonder how we ever had so many people down there putting on our "show" that we put on.
Birthday parties were always (and still are) the best. Growing up (and still today) I was the only one with a September birthday, so I never had to share my Sunday birthday party. Truth be told, I was always jealous of my cousin Afton because she got to share with my Grandpa. Now, the March/April birthday's are like half the family!! We all sit down in the living room and open our presents and cards. We have to pass the cards around for everyone to read. My Grandma loves to read every single card. She keeps every card that she has even been given also. My Grandpa always had his Maytag Camera that he got for I beleive 35 years of service. My Grandma would make him take pictures of everything. Then we go up to the table and we put the candles in. We sing happy birthday to everyone. No matter how many people there are, the candles get re lit and everyone gets their special birthday song. if you are 27, 2 candles get put on one side and 7 on the other. My Grandpa would always get so mad, he said we were going to burn down the house! Having all the memories swarm through my head, I always think about how riduclious some of these things sound. My Grandma has all of these little ways that she does things. They are non-negotiable, and to be honest, I wouldn't want them any other way.
Christmas is just as riduclious. Let me tell you what, if you want to see something that is reality TV worthy, you should come to my families house for Christmas. First off, the hours that would go into my Grandma shopping and wrapping each present for us, I cant even imagine. Then the perfect way that they would each be under the Christmas tree to make it all look like a puzzle. When Christmas morning game, my sister and I would have to sit on the bottom of our stairs until my Grandparents would come over, Then we could run out and see what Santa brought us (you see, I come from a family where Santa did not wrap the presents). Then once we opened our presents at our house, we would go over to my Grandparents. My cousins would be arriving at this time. We would all sit on this white couch that my Grandparents have in their family room. I always sat next to the tree, as I always hand out the presents. I would have to hand out one present to each person. Once they all got their present, I could start unwrapping mine, I would have to say who it was from. I then have to take off the ribbons and the bows and the name tags. Now, Ashley and Nick take these. (You see, my Grandma saves all of these and uses them year after year. Some name tags are ones that we wrote clear back when we were 5 or 6 years old). Yes, it is riduclious as it sounds. But it is our Family Christmas, and I love it.
This blog is getting a lot longer then I wanted it to. I guess my whole point of writing this is that I cant wait to start my own family traditions. The fun part is that we will get to take traditions from my family and traditions from Nathan's family and create our own. I think about cooking my family Thanksgiving dinner and having my kids get to eat "cherry shit" for Christmas breakfast. I love everything about joining our lives together, and creating traditions might be my favorite part!
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Our Wedding Day
I play our wedding day over and over in my head almost every day. I think about the moment that we will see each other for the first time. I think about walking down the aisle towards him. I think about saying my vows to him, and him saying his to me. I think about seeing all of our friends and family being there. I think about all of these things all of the time. But really, the thing I think about the most is hearing the words "I know pronounce you husband and wife". :)
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
The journey is the destination...
A women that both Nathan and I hold very close to our hearts told me "The journey is the destination". I think it was the first time in days that I was able to put everything into perspective. I for the first time realized that it isn't 6 months until our wedding, or 17 days until I see him again. Right now, these moments, they are all building our relationship. Its not the wedding that matters or having him home. Its all the moments in between that add up to a lifetime of love and happiness together. I have heard every cliche saying since Nathan left. "Everything happens for a reason", "Absence makes the heart grow fonder". But really, the only thing that has finally made me realize that every thing, every little thing is going to be ok.
This hurt in my heart, this ache for Nathan will never go away until I see him again. It is just something that I have to deal with. I can't make it go away, and I don't want to make it go away. This pain that I feel in my heart, this ache for Nathan, it is a constant reminder of how deep our love is. This journey that we are on together is one of a kind. The love that we have for each other is unique. I knew it the moment I saw Nathan in the board room on my first day at CBE. I knew it on the day that Nathan asked me to spend the rest of my life with him after only 5 months of dating. And I knew it when Nathan asked me if it was okay if he went and worked in the Atlanta office for awhile. I know that the love we share will take a hell of a lot more then 912 miles between us to break that bond.
So, although my heart aches more than I ever knew it could, and I have a constant feeling of missing something, I know that this is only going to make us stronger. This journey we're on, this wonderful, amazing journey..it is building the foundation of our relationship. It is building the foundation for our children and their children. And I am so grateful that I get to spend it with my best friend.
This hurt in my heart, this ache for Nathan will never go away until I see him again. It is just something that I have to deal with. I can't make it go away, and I don't want to make it go away. This pain that I feel in my heart, this ache for Nathan, it is a constant reminder of how deep our love is. This journey that we are on together is one of a kind. The love that we have for each other is unique. I knew it the moment I saw Nathan in the board room on my first day at CBE. I knew it on the day that Nathan asked me to spend the rest of my life with him after only 5 months of dating. And I knew it when Nathan asked me if it was okay if he went and worked in the Atlanta office for awhile. I know that the love we share will take a hell of a lot more then 912 miles between us to break that bond.
So, although my heart aches more than I ever knew it could, and I have a constant feeling of missing something, I know that this is only going to make us stronger. This journey we're on, this wonderful, amazing journey..it is building the foundation of our relationship. It is building the foundation for our children and their children. And I am so grateful that I get to spend it with my best friend.
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