Long time no talk! Thought I would check in with everyone as I've been getting LOTS of questions lately about our journey.
In December I had a surgery to remove pre-cancerous polyps and a portion of my uterine lining that had pre-cancerous cells. We knew at that point that it would be a year for my body to heal and start trying again.
We have come to the conclusion that I will 'never' be able to get pregnant naturally! (A dear friend so lovingly called my eggs 'scrambled' when telling her child why Nathan and I can't have babies, and I absolutely LOVE that description! No hatching happening here!) We were also told pre-surgery that there is only a 30% chance I would ever carry a baby due to my uterine lining! We pray daily that the surgery has increased those odds.
Any who, I go to the Dr monthly where they do a biopsy of the new uterine lining growing back to ensure there are only healthy cells and NO cancerous cells. I am very happy to update that we are all clear so far!! Woot-Woot!
As far as what's next? Nathan and I don't know. I truly believe deep down in the depths of my soul that we are meant to be parents. We don't feel the calling to adoption. That may change, you never know. I keep going back to egg-donation but Nathan doesn't know. When he married me he wanted to have babies with ME, and it weird him out a little that the baby would have his DNA but not mine. Nathan truly believes that we will get pregnant. Maybe another round of IVF is the trick! (God Bless that man's optimism!)
I continue to have these vivid, vivid dreams of receiving phone calls in the middle of the night and driving to these places and bringing home children. Sometimes they're babies, sometimes they're older kids. I don't know what God is trying to tell me. I am listening though, and waiting.
Overall yhings haven't changed much! There are good days and there are bad days. There are days I think we can do this. We can just continue to be Aunt Amanda and Uncle Nathan and be damn good at it. We can love our friend's kids like they're our own and offer to babysit any random kid that we come in contact with. Then, there are the days I can't get up off the bathroom floor because all I want to do is be a Mom. To feel life inside of me. To give my husband everything he deserves in life and more. Those days make me question this journey and why it had to be US. (I hate those days)
But, we are and continue to be so very thankful for all of your continued support. The love, prayers, and words of encouragement mean more than most of you will ever know. They are my light at the end of some very dark days.
Well, that's all she wrote folks! I'll try and check in more often! ❤️