Thursday, October 9, 2014

My husband, my soul mate, my friend My Struggle With Infertility

My husband. My soul mate. My best friend. My husband is one of the best men I've ever known! He loves me, he inspires me, and he stands beside me in all that I do. Most people in our lives know this already though! I am just sometimes reminded of how special of a guy he is. Today was one of those days. 

Let me tell you a little story! No promises it will be short! :)

About two months ago we were driving down the street and he looked over at me and said "I want to have a baby". My heart broke into a million pieces. You see, I've always wanted a baby at all costs. Nathan has been more consertative, both with the expense of it all and and with the emotional stress it was putting me through. Nathan has always maintained positice saying that it would happen when it was supposed to happen, and we would just try harder. You know, saying all the things that made me want to punch him in the face! :) But, it was his way to stay positive! 

My husband telling me that he wants to have a baby breaks my heart because he will be the most amazing father. He is funny, he is smart, he is well rounded. He is open minded and will love a child no matter what happens in their life. He is someone that many people lean on and depend on but often forget that he might need someone to lean on and depend on top. 

My husband wants a baby. Before, it was always just my hurt. I wanted the baby. Every month was a disappointment in myself. It was me that couldn't give me what I wanted. Now, it's me who can't give my husband, who would give me the world on a white-gold platter if I asked for it, a baby. Actually he would give it to me not even if I asked for it, but if I simply mentioned it was something I would like to have at some point. He loves me like that! :-)

Today, he was teaching a version of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People to a classroom full of people. I went into the classroom at the end of the day and was reminded how lucky we are to simply have each other. To know to the core of our beings that we are each other's soul mates and best friends. It's special. My husband is a special man. Everyone that gets to meet him and have him as a part of their life is a better person because of it. I say it all the time, but am truly starting to belibe it. Even if we can never have children, we are blessed to have each other and the love that we share! 

The greatest part of all of it is when I tell him that I feel like I am disappointing him, he simply tells me that I could never disappoint him, kisses my forehead and moves on with his day. 

So to the man who I love more than I ever thought possible to love someone else, thank you for being the person you are. Everyone in your life is better for knowing you. 

No comments:

Post a Comment